It has been far too long since I blogged here. A few things have been going on, positive and negative, and some of them things that have brought my own imposter syndrome raging to the forefront of my mind.
Since the last time I blogged, I survived (and actually enjoyed) giving a live webinar, including answering some great questions after the initial presentation was finished.
My tutoring career has continued to grow, and I am now tutoring some Ofqual regulated courses alongside CPD courses for Canine Principles. I love tutoring, and find myself frequently quite invested in many of my students. Unsurprisingly, helping the students who lack confidence has become a massively rewarding part of the job, finding ways to help them discover that yes, they are more than capable of the work and yes, they can absolutely complete the course in some style.
I’m also writing courses for dog guardians, for the Good Guardianship site, which has had the imposter syndrome pricking up its ears and lying in wait for me. As has the planning of further books to write and release.
Who am I to think about writing courses for other people?
Who am I to think about regarding myself as an educator in any capacity?
Who am I to think that I can help others with imposter syndrome when I have it myself?
Who am I to think that anybody wants to read a(nother) book I’ve written?
Possibly one of the biggest things that has the mind monkeys stirred up is the loosely planned organising myself to get out and start working with clients. Having completed Kim Brophey’s amazing Family Dog Mediator course, I will in the near(ish) future being putting myself out there into the training and behaviour world, instead of hiding behind a computer screen all of the time. Although to be fair, some of my work with clients is more than likely to be over Zoom, but that still involved putting myself out there.
Someone called me inspirational the other day. My first instinct and knee jerk reaction was to wave it off, laugh it off and draw a line under it. I’m really not good with compliments, and I have spent a lot of my life being invisible, often by design. People saying nice things about me doesn’t really go with invisibility. Later on the same day, I sat down for a while and cuddled a collie dog (my main function when not working, playing or preparing his meals!) and it came back into my mind, along with my reaction to it. I realised something important, about this particular situation and imposter syndrome in general when it comes to other people’s thoughts about me.
My opinion of that doesn’t matter. I don’t get to decide if somebody else finds anything I do interesting, helpful, inspirational. That is all in the eye of the beholder. If someone thinks that I have helped them, or that something I have done or continue to do inspires them in same way, that person is the one who is in the best position to decide that. In fact, they are the only person who can decide that.
So when your clients are telling you that you have helped them and have done great things for their relationships with their dogs don’t wave it off. Don’t give that embarrassed little smile and awkward chuckle. Be proud that you have helped someone improve their situation. Because they are the ones who get to say that. And they are saying it because it’s what they believe. You have helped them. That is something of which you can be proud. So make sure to record the positive feedback – it can be a massive help on the days when it all feels hard and the mind monkeys are pulling their tricks. Proof that you can do the job, because you ARE doing the job.
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